11
Oct

Update

I shared this on my personal Facebook account but realized I should update those who only follow me here…..what’s been going on with me, and why I’ve been so absent from updating or writing articles (of which I have so many to share just haven’t been edited yet).

On August 8th, I was able to participate in my graduation ceremony – although I wasn’t completely finished.  You can watch the video I pieced together from all the clips I was in for the overall zoom graduation ceremony:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJmfAwtiOWE&feature=youtu.be

I was still working on my dissertation at the time.  It wasn’t until September 25th that I officially defended and passed.  The Dynamic Interpersonal Model has officially been grounded in psychology and science…..  I’m hopeful that up and coming psychology (or any humanity field of study) students are interested in researching it further.

I’ll share my dissertation soon…it’s in the process of being archived and edited by my school.  The final page count was 76 – not too long or short.  Many mentors and supporters keep suggesting I write a book.  I keep saying, I’ll just write a blog….that way it stays free!

I have been asked to present the model as a training at both Pacific and WPCS (where I completed internship and am moving on to post-doctoral residency).  The current Clinical Training Director for our Pacific clinic (who is also my mentor and chair) has asked me to present the model to the practicum I doctoral students.  Peeps at WPCS, both heads and clinicians have supported me in creating a training for clinicians (with CEU opportunities) and a group for clients.  I’m thoroughly excited to do all of it…….just as soon as I am able!

I’m currently in, what my husband likes to call, “sickbay”.   Like Tyler Joseph of TOP says, “I’ve been tested like the ends of….a weathered flag that’s by the sea” (Chlorine – https://youtu.be/UOQlKBlobRY).  After I defended my dissertation, I collapsed from exhaustion.  3 days after that, I ended up in the ER with a kidney infection…..I’m still recovering, while trying to keep up with my continuing clinical responsibilities…which I have been terrible with.  I have not been as consistently available for my clients as I need to be (“I’m so sorry I forgot you”) – some people need consistency.  It’s been a slow recovery process for me…and will probably continue to be slow until I get at least a fraction of my physical health back.

I’ll just share my FB post here:

UPDATE: Thank you so much everyone!! For all the support. I’ve really needed it lately. I have been on such a long, painful journey – that after I defended my dissertation, and my dissertation chair/mentor said, “I never get to say this and have it be the actual completion, but this time I do! Congratulations, Dr. Shimek! Will you come teach the model to our students?” After that day I haven’t had anything left in me. My body has taken the brunt of all the growth I’ve done. If you met me 20 years ago, you would never imagine I would be the person I am today. So different, yet still the same.
I miss everyone on Facebook – and feel so disconnected from everything. I’ve been functioning in pure survival mode for such a long time, that now my body has to unlearn and relearn.  At the same time, I have the world knocking at the door asking me to step up….and all I can say is, “I’m so weary!”
Fortunately, I’m on the mend; still on antibiotics, with messed up digestion that comes with it. Also finally have the time to engage in physical therapy/massage/chiropractic adjustments – which apparently all work together (as a collaborative approach and all on the same visit to support body shifting) – to help my poor muscles unwind from being in superwoman mode for so long. The massage therapist I met today said my muscles around my shoulder blades were so tight and stiff that he actually couldn’t get to the muscles underneath that were making my hands numb. It’s gonna take some time – so I’m gonna be in “sickbay” for a while. I can finally address the chronic pain I’ve been in for years….. I can finally concentrate on me. It’s been such a long time since I had down time (not one day off in 8 months), that I’ve been happy zoning out, counting flowers on the wall, and thinking of nothing……every chance I get! In any case – I’m still here!! Albeit, very faintly.
Happy Belated Mabon/First day of Autumn! This year and especially this Mabon, will be seared into my mind as the day I finally proved to myself that I could be a doctor. Everything after that has been icing on the cake.
____________________________________end of facebook post.
I broke through the barrier of doubt that has been placed on me by my world throughout my entire life.  So many people have told me that I’m never going to make it.  The most recent example comes from someone I considered one of my closest friends (she’s a graduate from my program).  She actually said to me that Pacific would never graduate me.  I just don’t understand why anyone would say that.  I mean I can analyze it and suppose – but that’s just it, all my analyses would just be assumptions.  If anything, after breaking through years of doubt by so many, including and especially myself…I can say, unequivocally:  I know my own truth and nobody can ever take that away from me!